Wednesday, January 14, 2004
2 hours in disneyland is just enough to ride three rides, eat a lot, and talk about numerous things. of course, for that to happen, you'd have to go on a wednesday night close to closing time and with an old friend. ah yes. good laughs. i love my annual pass (but not more than the person who gave it to me. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! ;P). karla and i took advantage of our annual passes. we parked in DT Disney and took the monorail into the park. yes, we are lazy. we wanted some funnel cake. the place that val told us it was by was closed so we walked around pirates of carribean cuz she saw one there before. after much walking, we found it. on the way there we saw planes flying overhead and we became mad at that terrible Mike Eisner for allowing planes to fly over Disneyland. then we smothered our faces with a coutry fried cheesecake and a strawberry and whip topped funnel cake. the guy that served us was utterly amusing. he talked so jolly and friendly. "That necklace is FABULOUS. (wrist flick)" bwahahahah!!! Right after, we walked past one restaurant and sat down again to eat steak gumbo in a bread bowl. hahaha. we were SO hungry. then we rode on pirates. good laughs in there. it was sooo empty. there were empty boats in front of us and empty boats behind us. it was like we were the only ones there. then we went to indiana jones. we were all by ourselves walking through the maze of endless bambo poles, bat caves, and cursed tunnels. we even pulled stupid jokes like we were real archeologists discovering the statues that were inside. i pretended i had a magnifying class, pointed at a blank wall and said, "ah ha! i found a message!" karla, being my colleague, said, "uh. i think you meant that wall," while pointing the wall behind us. "ah yes. so it is." bwahahahha good times! we screamed as if a statue scared us. i guess you only have that much fun when there's no line. we were literally the only people walking through, up untll we got to the actually boarding area. then seeing that we only had a couple more minutes until the park closed, we ran our asses to fantasyland for one ride. we rode on peter pan. i haven't been there in a LONG time. after that, we hauled our tired bodies home. crossing 5 lanes here and 4 lanes there. haha. good times. we were reminiscing of our time in Florida and how much we want to go back. At least they brought something in Florida to us, the Tower of Terror. ah-lright. ;)
i've said it before and i'll say it again. I LOVE DISNEYLAND. it's a place where i can wind down and not think about the world oustide disneyland. a bad day at disneyland is better than a good day at school/work. ;) unless you do work there. but that's a whole different story. i wanna go back.
i've said it before and i'll say it again. I LOVE DISNEYLAND. it's a place where i can wind down and not think about the world oustide disneyland. a bad day at disneyland is better than a good day at school/work. ;) unless you do work there. but that's a whole different story. i wanna go back.
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
humph.. this cold is getting whatever's left of me. it placed me indoors for two days straight which leads me to having cabin fever. I WANT TO GET OUT! as charlie brown would say, "UUUUGHHHHH!!" staying home gives me time to actually think. emi & thinking too long DEFINITELY doesn't mix even though i do it quite too often. heck, girls in general & thinking a lot make a VERY BAD mix. but whatever. that's a girl for you.
things have been getting slightly better. they have been trying. it's the effort that counts, right? it's not the amount of time spent together. it's how it's spent. it's not quantity. it's QUALITY. in due time, the overall quality will be better than the quantity. i'd rather not see a person for a month and have the best time ever when we do meet at the eye than to see a person every single day and have a not so good time every other time i see them... in due time. (damn, she's right. i am too compassionate and patient. but isn't that a good thing?? it's not like i'm letting them walk all over me.. am i?)
i expect a lot out of people and out of myself. i need to find some middle ground. where is it?
things have been getting slightly better. they have been trying. it's the effort that counts, right? it's not the amount of time spent together. it's how it's spent. it's not quantity. it's QUALITY. in due time, the overall quality will be better than the quantity. i'd rather not see a person for a month and have the best time ever when we do meet at the eye than to see a person every single day and have a not so good time every other time i see them... in due time. (damn, she's right. i am too compassionate and patient. but isn't that a good thing?? it's not like i'm letting them walk all over me.. am i?)
i expect a lot out of people and out of myself. i need to find some middle ground. where is it?
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
today was refreshing. i need more days like this. i need more days to just get out and not worry about a problem in the world, actually in MY world. but if you really know me, it's hard for me to let things go. even on days like today where im able to go out and not think about my issues, i wind up in my room with my issues being tossed in the back of my memory. with all honesty, i feel like i've been jipped of something that's really important to me. as much as i do try to understand with given the circumstances, i've always thought that things would turn out a certain way. call me stubborn if you wish, but i think how i feel is common sense to anyone placed in my position. no one wants to feel like its a one way street in a friendship/relationship, right? slap me if i'm wrong. if i were truly going to reciprocate how they treat me, there would be some dissappointments. there's only two people whom i can think of that wouldn't change even if i reciporcated 100%. They've been there through ALL of my cry fests and my anger periods. They've seen all sides of me: the good, the bad, and the "get even" (aka the ugly). They were easy to get in contact with when life was too much to handle on my own. Then, there were the people that gave our friendship an "eh" effort. I gave more to them than they gave to me. Believe me, this category is the biggest one. i guess these are the people whom i thought would be there, but were only humoring me like it was some obligation. and because of some stupid circumstances, that's all i think we will ever be. i hope everyday that one day, they'd come to the realization that what they're doing HURTS. i know it's cruel to wish for bad things, but i hope they feel how it is to be in my shoes.
Maybe i should just cut off all means of communications. maybe i should just dissappear. i doubt the world will notice. how many times do i have to start my life over before i become COMPLETELY content? ugh. That's not possible. LIFE isn't always as easy as 123.
Maybe they just don't understand how i feel and how i grew up. Maybe if they just took the time to know me better, they would know why i have certain feelings towards certain issues... especially when issues involve people's feelings as well as their oh-so-fragile hearts. Maybe i would be happy if i just stuck with the two people that's been there for me the most. They understand me, accept why i feel the way i do about stuff, and compromise with it. They also make me feel like our friendship isn't an obligation.
i'm glad i got to spend this refreshing day with a friend like her. she's been there more than anyone. she's the least selfish person i know. she really brought my spirits up with the gifts she showered me with today. She gave me my christmas present (which by the way was the most BEAUTIFUL and HEARTFELT thing that was ever given to me, esp. since we've gone to seperate colleges) and souvenirs from her trips around the world (a shot glass made for sake (sah-keh) and a sarong with goofy on it). It's never a dull moment with her. We went to DT Disney, ate at the ESPN Zone, and rented "Down with Love". It has to be said again: Ewan Mcgregor has the SEXIEST singing voice ever. we both agreed on that. ;)
Maybe i should just cut off all means of communications. maybe i should just dissappear. i doubt the world will notice. how many times do i have to start my life over before i become COMPLETELY content? ugh. That's not possible. LIFE isn't always as easy as 123.
Maybe they just don't understand how i feel and how i grew up. Maybe if they just took the time to know me better, they would know why i have certain feelings towards certain issues... especially when issues involve people's feelings as well as their oh-so-fragile hearts. Maybe i would be happy if i just stuck with the two people that's been there for me the most. They understand me, accept why i feel the way i do about stuff, and compromise with it. They also make me feel like our friendship isn't an obligation.
i'm glad i got to spend this refreshing day with a friend like her. she's been there more than anyone. she's the least selfish person i know. she really brought my spirits up with the gifts she showered me with today. She gave me my christmas present (which by the way was the most BEAUTIFUL and HEARTFELT thing that was ever given to me, esp. since we've gone to seperate colleges) and souvenirs from her trips around the world (a shot glass made for sake (sah-keh) and a sarong with goofy on it). It's never a dull moment with her. We went to DT Disney, ate at the ESPN Zone, and rented "Down with Love". It has to be said again: Ewan Mcgregor has the SEXIEST singing voice ever. we both agreed on that. ;)
Saturday, January 03, 2004
mwahahah! today [ jan. 2nd] was fun! we had our *NSTREET reunion. hahah the good old days. we karaoked (and milked it! haha) for a while. we viewed our *NSTREET tape which we made asses out of ourselves in (dancing to nsync, bsb, and britney spears.. omg.. wut were we thinking. haha). then we had a "Family Guy" marathon. we didn't get to watch the 3rd disc because karla forgot it at home. =/ eli and i were sad. but ah yes. good times. we pigged out on chocolate, pizza, buffalo wings, and random food in my kitchen.. we were missing only one person.. abby. she had made prior plans. bleh. but yes... today was quite entertaining.. esp. family guy! bwahahah good stuff!
Friday, January 02, 2004
HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR! i celebrated my new year's eve @ my cousin's house for the first time in a LONG time. it was an interesting experience. what a way to end an interesting year. 5 minutes before midnight, we all gathered in my cousin's tv room. then my mom yelled, "ok, all the husband and wives hold each other. all the boyfriends and girlfriends seperate!" i was thinking, "omg. i think my mom had too much of that cranberry juice than i did." then as it came closer to midnight my mom said, "ok get ready. everyone stand next to their sweetheart." and i thought, "yay! no comment about the young couples!" hahah there was no acutally countdown because they had satelite. i didn't get to see the ball drop in time square for the first time lol. it was fun nonetheless. we watched the clock on the TV. when it hit midnight, someone accidentally hit the switch that was connected to the TV and it turned off. so my cousin quickly turned it back on. then everyone yelled, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" i, for one, had my first new year's kiss at midnight. unlike all my other years, i didn't have a champagne glass filled with sparkling cider. instead i had a friend turned best friend turned boyfriend in my arms. it was my cousin's first new year's kiss too... even though her and her boyfriend were together for almost 3 years. ;)
then today (new years day) we ate breakfast at the restaurant outside of knotts. we were suppose to go to Barstow's outlet, but our plans changed. we went to diana's house to celebrate her and her sister's bday. diana and i called people up reminding them about tomorrow (jan. 2nd). and she let me listen to the prison song. hahah i like it! mm fun!
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i felt that my last entry didn't really express my gratefulness of surviving 2003. Besides the whole "FINALLY FREE CLASS OF 2003" aspect of last year, there were a great deal of events that had taught me who i really am. i have one person to thank for helping me realize my abilities and for helping me conquer my insecurities. never in one year have i learned so much about life and about myself. it was a great year for my mind to grow and accept what is given to me whether it was a blessing or a thorn in my life. i cannot stress enough how much of a miracle it was to survive a demanding year. i've learned over the course of one year, how it truly feels to be the mother of a house. all responsiblity (minus the role of being an account for the family) was thrown on top of me at the beginning of the year. i had never worked so hard for my family in my 17 years of living. i cannot look back and see if i have achieved my 2003 resolutions because i have forgotten them. i can only guess it consisted of weightloss, being true to myself, and not being mean to my sister. just to humor myself, i think i did a pretty good job this year. i think i could have done better. i could have been more rational rather than reacting like a drama queen (even though that is the only way people can realize how much they hurt me). yes, i may have been a pain in the butt to some. yes, i may have felt like an obligation to others.. but i've come to accept myself for being the one on his/her last nerve because quite frankly, it's me and you just have to accept it.
2003 was a year that brought me to a realization that someone does actually care for me and actually appreciates me. i have never in my lifetime felt this way towards anyone. if this was a "thank you" i would have soo much to thank you for. but for once, i dont know what to say because i cant find the right words to express how much you mean to me. as much as i search for the right words, it all boils down to three meaningful words. as scared as i am for taking such a big risk, i feel i have to make it known to everyone. as corny as it sounds, it's true. i know we've been exchanging these words for quite some time now, but i've come to the point where i just want to tell the whole world. as stupid as my method of proclaiming my feelings is, it just had to be said. i love you.
then today (new years day) we ate breakfast at the restaurant outside of knotts. we were suppose to go to Barstow's outlet, but our plans changed. we went to diana's house to celebrate her and her sister's bday. diana and i called people up reminding them about tomorrow (jan. 2nd). and she let me listen to the prison song. hahah i like it! mm fun!
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i felt that my last entry didn't really express my gratefulness of surviving 2003. Besides the whole "FINALLY FREE CLASS OF 2003" aspect of last year, there were a great deal of events that had taught me who i really am. i have one person to thank for helping me realize my abilities and for helping me conquer my insecurities. never in one year have i learned so much about life and about myself. it was a great year for my mind to grow and accept what is given to me whether it was a blessing or a thorn in my life. i cannot stress enough how much of a miracle it was to survive a demanding year. i've learned over the course of one year, how it truly feels to be the mother of a house. all responsiblity (minus the role of being an account for the family) was thrown on top of me at the beginning of the year. i had never worked so hard for my family in my 17 years of living. i cannot look back and see if i have achieved my 2003 resolutions because i have forgotten them. i can only guess it consisted of weightloss, being true to myself, and not being mean to my sister. just to humor myself, i think i did a pretty good job this year. i think i could have done better. i could have been more rational rather than reacting like a drama queen (even though that is the only way people can realize how much they hurt me). yes, i may have been a pain in the butt to some. yes, i may have felt like an obligation to others.. but i've come to accept myself for being the one on his/her last nerve because quite frankly, it's me and you just have to accept it.
2003 was a year that brought me to a realization that someone does actually care for me and actually appreciates me. i have never in my lifetime felt this way towards anyone. if this was a "thank you" i would have soo much to thank you for. but for once, i dont know what to say because i cant find the right words to express how much you mean to me. as much as i search for the right words, it all boils down to three meaningful words. as scared as i am for taking such a big risk, i feel i have to make it known to everyone. as corny as it sounds, it's true. i know we've been exchanging these words for quite some time now, but i've come to the point where i just want to tell the whole world. as stupid as my method of proclaiming my feelings is, it just had to be said. i love you.
Sunday, December 28, 2003
i have been having fun the past 3 days! of course i missed him, but i had fun nonetheless. on friday, the day after christmas, pam and johnny came by for a visit! yay! i haven't seen johnny since my bday and pam.. well.. since the mall. haha but it was fun just talking to them and feeding them. ;) i'm really hoping we could hangout again before break ends. pammy gave me stationary so i can write to her. oooh yea. imma put it to good use. everybody loves getting snail mail. hehe. they left the house around.. 1?? i think. lol. i didn't bother checking the time cuz i was just really glad to see them. yesterday, i had visitors again! yay! karla, joe, shanel, jason, and nana came by to drop of christmas gifts. nana's so big now!! she loved me the most just because i was holding sponge bob. heh. hey, bribes work. kaybee and joe were so funny. i love laughing with them. there's never a dull moment when those two are around. esp. when you bring up lord of the rings and pirates of the caribbean. oo orlando bloom and johnny depp. sooo sexy. we talked about everything from movies and tv shows (the OC cuz joe hangs out with them.. noogies!) to college life and our future. *sigh* but yes.. i've been having fun with people i dont get to see that often. good times. as for today, i went to church, came home and did the laundry, ran some errands, tv/dvds, and now i'm here... yup. i guess my weekend fun is over.
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wow. this year has gone by faster than the last. i guess it's because i was having more fun this year. not only did i close a chapter of my life and opened a new one, but i've extended into many different areas of my life that i thought would never exist for a while. let me recap my year of 2003:
- january was a month of hospitals, surgeries, no mom days, and home alone nights. but solar FINALLY took me to CPK like he promised. ;) oh and it was a month of parties ~ emily's bday/dad's retirement party, charisma's bday dinner @ bobby mcgees, and diana's cotillion.
- february brought many wonderful surprises. best day ~ the 14th. it also came with a lot of thinking.
- march was filled with cotillion practices, pcn practices, pcn show, and a weekend at UC Berkley. Got to see my cousin Ellen!
- april was all cotillion practices... even during spring break. there was a day of senior productions... but that was wutevers. my bunk bed came this month too! and i attended my firts TKB class (turbo kickboxing) with sagita and chilled at mrs. wohlgemuth's house. went to SD and shopped at Fashion Valley. i was BUSY this month.
- may held val's cotillion, AP Tests, a fun outing to DT Disney with kristen, solar, and jerome. mom's bday, premio de oro, and PROM =)
- june was a BIG MONTH in my life. finals, senior ditch day, GRADUATION, the BEACH (even it was a dirty beach.. u can't blame redondo. lol), the QUESTION, the ANSWER.. haha u get the point. my LAST MUN conference i will be in and chair at.. DISNEYLAND with the mun family..
- july & august was vacation time. just chillin' and hanging out. yup.
- september birthday, 3rd month surprise, college started, and my car accident... pre-bday drama.. it comes on time each year... =(
- october brought halloween.. october wasn't a big month for me.. a lot more thinking this month..
- november hmm.. dad's bday, mom & dad's 23rd anniversary, Thanksgiving... and BIG DRAMA.
- december was REALLY FUN... despite the drama and being sick part. 6th month was SOO fun at disneyland! christmas was fun.. thanks to trinity ;) got to see my cousin from the PI!! and yeah.. i have yet to see what happens on the last 3 days of december..
over all.. the year was one of the most eventful years of my life. i've met new people and kept in touch with my old friends. i survived life's curve balls THIS year.
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wow. this year has gone by faster than the last. i guess it's because i was having more fun this year. not only did i close a chapter of my life and opened a new one, but i've extended into many different areas of my life that i thought would never exist for a while. let me recap my year of 2003:
- january was a month of hospitals, surgeries, no mom days, and home alone nights. but solar FINALLY took me to CPK like he promised. ;) oh and it was a month of parties ~ emily's bday/dad's retirement party, charisma's bday dinner @ bobby mcgees, and diana's cotillion.
- february brought many wonderful surprises. best day ~ the 14th. it also came with a lot of thinking.
- march was filled with cotillion practices, pcn practices, pcn show, and a weekend at UC Berkley. Got to see my cousin Ellen!
- april was all cotillion practices... even during spring break. there was a day of senior productions... but that was wutevers. my bunk bed came this month too! and i attended my firts TKB class (turbo kickboxing) with sagita and chilled at mrs. wohlgemuth's house. went to SD and shopped at Fashion Valley. i was BUSY this month.
- may held val's cotillion, AP Tests, a fun outing to DT Disney with kristen, solar, and jerome. mom's bday, premio de oro, and PROM =)
- june was a BIG MONTH in my life. finals, senior ditch day, GRADUATION, the BEACH (even it was a dirty beach.. u can't blame redondo. lol), the QUESTION, the ANSWER.. haha u get the point. my LAST MUN conference i will be in and chair at.. DISNEYLAND with the mun family..
- july & august was vacation time. just chillin' and hanging out. yup.
- september birthday, 3rd month surprise, college started, and my car accident... pre-bday drama.. it comes on time each year... =(
- october brought halloween.. october wasn't a big month for me.. a lot more thinking this month..
- november hmm.. dad's bday, mom & dad's 23rd anniversary, Thanksgiving... and BIG DRAMA.
- december was REALLY FUN... despite the drama and being sick part. 6th month was SOO fun at disneyland! christmas was fun.. thanks to trinity ;) got to see my cousin from the PI!! and yeah.. i have yet to see what happens on the last 3 days of december..
over all.. the year was one of the most eventful years of my life. i've met new people and kept in touch with my old friends. i survived life's curve balls THIS year.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
it's christmas morning! too bad i didn't get all that i wanted under my christmas tree. how did i know that before unwrapping my gifts? because none of my gifts are shaped like a person. "all i want for christmas is you".. i miss my cousins.. heh for someone to actually wrap up someone and leave them on my doorstep would be quite a surprise. eh... at least my cousin Edsel is going to be able to stay for a couple days around christmas next year. YAY!
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i've grown to just take christmas as a spontaneous day. we were suppose to go to san diego but right now it doesn't seem like it's going to be happening. my dad's sick and it's raining. my parents were going to let me drive, but it's a little risky for my dad to be sick and out in the rain. so we cant make it. i hope we make something out of this christmas day. hey, we do it each year. sometimes we just stay home.. sometimes we go to san diego.. sometimes we just spend it with friends that treat us like family. and i think that's what we're going to do this year. spend it with friends in cerritos/artesia. i know my grandpa will be dissappointed that we can't make it, but with my dad's sickness, i don't think we can make the drive. i really wish we could go.......... and it makes me realize that life is so ironic. during the happiest times for the world, a selected number of people get hit by something that holds back their happiness... sickness.. work.. plane delays.. i guess it's a way of life that teaches us how to deal with life's curve balls and to work with what you have.
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i've grown to just take christmas as a spontaneous day. we were suppose to go to san diego but right now it doesn't seem like it's going to be happening. my dad's sick and it's raining. my parents were going to let me drive, but it's a little risky for my dad to be sick and out in the rain. so we cant make it. i hope we make something out of this christmas day. hey, we do it each year. sometimes we just stay home.. sometimes we go to san diego.. sometimes we just spend it with friends that treat us like family. and i think that's what we're going to do this year. spend it with friends in cerritos/artesia. i know my grandpa will be dissappointed that we can't make it, but with my dad's sickness, i don't think we can make the drive. i really wish we could go.......... and it makes me realize that life is so ironic. during the happiest times for the world, a selected number of people get hit by something that holds back their happiness... sickness.. work.. plane delays.. i guess it's a way of life that teaches us how to deal with life's curve balls and to work with what you have.
