And the BEAT goes on

reunion! today nisha, kristen, phan, mona, jenn, christina chen, and i reunited for the thanksgiving holiday. it was good times! catching up, gossiping, acting stupid.. u know.. things we do best! ;) heh.. jenn and i tried on hats at walmart.. bwahahahah! she was workin' it! i wish i could put a picture up but my web skills arent great. so if u wanna see it.. just ask!.. if u teach me how to put it up. bleh. we even took pictures infront of the christmas tree in the town center. mona has a seductive look. everyone, look natural! hahahahahha. oh good times. one of the funniest things we talked about was the asian squat.. more or less called the korean smoker squat... and how that's how people go to the bathroom in india (haha nisha!)

i cant wait until dec. 18th! xmas party with the girls! woot! nisha wants a guest list.. we're going to have bouncers at the party. lol. VIP only. bwahahahah!!!

note: i know why u did what u did. i admit, i felt the slightest hint of guilt, but i cant take it anymore. i've tried so hard not to let it get to me, but it has finally caught up with me. i've realized how much i've been pushed around, my emotions being pulled in so many directions. do u think i don't see? i know u'll say that u didn't mean it that way, but that sure is how it turns out to be. i stood by you, but i don't remember u ever being there next to me when i needed u. not once throughout my time knowing u did i see you next to me.. u were one of them, and i guess after all that u turned into was something i was trying to keep myself away from.... it's people like you that hurt me. it's people like you that think u can walk all over me. it's people like you that only treat me like a toy and bring me out when u feel like it. you probably don't even realize how much of an impact you have made on my life and me as a person. there is one thing that i've learned from a person like you. u made me stronger. this is probably the hardest thing i have to do; to put aside you and me and finally realize what i was lacking.... i cant believe that it took me this long to let go, but after much convincing and "i don't know why u put yourself through that", i think it's about time that i did. it was fun while it lasted. only u can save it now.

p.s. it's not about "9ri;07va34,o012g;57lp512v07o45ce234s". so you can stop worrying;) you should be able to figure out the code cuz u made it up! hehe

hmm.. so it's thanksgiving.. what i'm i thankful for?
~ for being alive
~ a family.. a crazy one might i add..
~ shelter
~ food
~ clothing
~ friends
~ and last but not least... my boyfriend. =D
~ call me crazy, but im actually thankful for life's curve balls and bumps in the road.. if it weren't for all of those problems, pointless drama, wasted tears... i wouldn't have learned all the things i did about how to survive/deal with life.

well i got home from sd at 9 pm. it was soo hectic, but that's what makes my family gatherings so fun. kids running around, cousins catching up/gossipping, and the adults talking about sex... that topic never fails to pull some laughs. we had two turkeys.. dont ask me why.. and my grandpa's cooking had never let my tastebuds down. year after year, visit after visit, his food is ALWAYS great. from dinuguan to fried fish to pasta.. mm mmm mmmmmmm... but the more i stare at the food that sits on my plate, the more i realize how lucky i am to have a feast. there's so many people back home and in 3rd world nations that dont eat.. and i always wonder how they survive..

*sigh* happy thanksgiving. don't waste the food!

i just found out that i slept around 7.. wow thats early! and to think..i woke up at 9.. dang.. that's the longest time ive ever slept. bleh... my mom said she woke me up to brush my teeth, but i don't remember brushing my teeth.. let alone get into my bed. no wonder i woke up disoriented. heh.. i was dead asleep i guess. i'm at san diego right now.. we went to vejas but it was SOO cold! i missed going into gap by one minute! grrr.. wutever. i was going to gamble but i said bleh. i'll save my ten dollars. then didn't allow kids inside past 8 so my sister, my mom, and i sat outside under the gas heater stands outside the casino. it was SOOO cold. but we had some good laughs there. my mom already making fun of my future kids names.. i swear... she's getting a little over her head here.. i too damn young to even think about it! she started naming my kids (who ever the father is) by numbers: juan, dos, tres, apat (four), lima (5), six, seben.. how many kids is she expecting out of me?!?!?

i went to islands.. steve beat me by a grip. he got almost 200 dollars.. more that 200 if it weren't for that damn processing fee. i got a whopping 35 dollars! bwahahaha! anywho.. good lunch! got the same waiter that served me and bora at the bar. he called me "doll, honey" again. lol. he just wants good tip. heh. he even said, "aren't you gonna holler at me?" i guess... i think his name was nick.. nate.. something like that. eh.. wutever. he's funny.

ok.. i best be sleeping now.. when i go to church in san diego, it's EARLY. trying to catch the 8.30 mass. nite.

my dependency... i didn't realize how reliant i was on material things... or more specifically.. my cell phone. it has become a convenience and a necessity. having it since sophomore year, it has saved my life frequently. it provided entertainment, chats with friends, directions to a place when im on the road, emergency calls, and most important, the time and date. on monday i left for school not realizing i forgot my phone on my bed. when i got to school, i needed to check my phone for the time. heh.. i didnt have my phone.... stoopidhead... i felt empty. it was a weird feeling... like forgetting something. i usually have it in my sweater pocket for easy access to check the time.. but that was empty. so i had to rely on the school clocks and bora's phone. i was scared i'd miss my class so i constantly checked the wall clocks and the computer clock when i was in the library. damn my dependency.

my sleepless night monday night, i stayed up doing my research paper on "Talley Beatty", a modern dance/ Afro-American dance choreographer. i was suppose to start at 3. but i ended up just staring at my material because i didn't know where to start. i hate intros. so what i ended up doing was reading the books i borrowed, eat, pick up mom, run errands, came home, started at the computer screen longer.. and then around 9 i just said screw the intro. i just started writing about Beatty's life and his dance career. woo.. a paragraph of his early days. it sucked.. so i took an break and talked to kristen online. then i finally just started typing. i must of revised the thing like 3 times just to meet the minimum pages. then i was finally done by 4:30 AM. bleh. at least i took like wut.. a 30 min. nap inbetween all of the typing. then last night, i was just knocked out. i was suppose to sleep when i came home for school, but my parents wanted me to meet them at the mall. bah. so when i did come home, i signed online real quick... signed off.. and slept the WHOLE NIGHT. and woke up at 9. ahh felt good!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! i'll be spending mine in san diego. i'll leaving today in the afternoon and will be home tomorrow night. today imma go eat out with steve cuz we have this bet. we'll see who wins at the coinstar machine.. but the weird this is, whoever has more money has to treat the other person to lunch... hehe. weird ain't it?